Growth So Far…in 2013

I’ve been growing a lot lately. It’s not just maturing (I’m turning 21 in 11 days!) as an individual, but also, I am growing as a writer and a performer.

I am becoming more responsible as a young person. I am beginning to take more responsibility for my actions. Normally, I try to brush things under the carpet once I am caught making a mistake. Now, I realize that I need to state that I have made a mistake and not make any excuses. I used to make excuses when things went wrong. It always was for some similar reason. If I had only spoken sooner, there would be no trouble. I am learning that I need to leave no stone unturned in my pursuit of best course of action.

And I am learning that I need to pursue things as soon as I see them go wrong. Normally, I would just put things off and wait. I hope that the person remembers me and remembers the task I asked. Now I am learning to not wait for the person to take on the task. I need to remind that person more. I need to…get on that person’s case. I would prefer to treat people like they are all capable of doing things in a timely manner, but the truth is that they are not. And instead of begrudging them for what they do not do, I need to get on them so they will do. Nothing is more motivating (okay, maybe fear is) than an annoyance.

As a writer, I have been sending out short stories and poems for publication. So far, I have a poem ‘Face Creams’ that will be published in Blackberry: A Magazine. I also sent out a few short stories. One person wrote back to me that she hated my story, nothing was interesting about it, and that it needed more character development. My initial response was of shock and anger. I could not believe that she could not see my subtle symbolism (which I was quite proud of myself for being able to pull off–normally I am as subtle as an elephant dancing ballet…). But then after a month of cooling off, I realized that maybe I could do a little more in the character development section. So I acquired a book, whose title now escapes me, about character development and I am pleased I took the chance. The way the book is written is that it is intelligent (I see T/F tables everywhere. YAY LOGIC! ❤ ) and it explores character definitions in such a way that I am actually growing as a writer. I am impressed with what I can now start doing.

As a musician, I am a beginner at piano, but thanks to my ah-mazing metronome, I am becoming so much more technical in my playing. This is transferring into my singing. Not only am I able to hear the notes better, but I am more accurate with my singing. It is coming along nicely.

In what ways have you grown since January?

Best,

Ariel Ceylan

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Knowing it All

From my experience with my peers, I notice that there is an obsession with knowing it all. Not like knowing things from books, but knowing why people do things. Like if Luke grinds up on Michelle and Michelle is one of his good platonic friends and Becky sees this, Becky questions Luke’s behavior. Luke responds, it’s not a big deal, we’re just friends (fwb). It doesn’t mean anything, so chill out.

Becky will then take Luke’s explanation and say, oh, well that’s just Luke. That’s what Luke does. But is that really why? What is Luke really saying? He’s saying that his own body, his own sexuality is not a big deal. And why not, it’s not like he’s religious or anything. Is it possible to respect one’s self by not treating one’s own body like an amusement park for anyone who’s looking?

Luke said it all, didn’t he? Becky often won’t ask for anything more. Why not? If Becky knows the real reasons for Luke’s behavior (maybe he feels like he’s not capable of giving love to someone), then she would have to be somewhat responsible for empathizing with Luke and give him real life-advice. She would have to genuinely care for someone. Who would want that?